I didn't really get a lot of feedback on my previous pitch, seeing as I only got one comment on it. The only criticism was that it was hard to hear me speak, so I tried to talk louder for this pitch. I also discussed my business concept in greater detail this time.
https://youtu.be/4br6-3YYlB4
I think I remember commenting on your pitch last time, when we had to do the first elevator pitch a couple weeks ago, and while I understand the comment that it may have been hard to hear you, I wouldn’t take that as a bad critique because it could’ve been the fault of the camera or your surroundings. But this time was a lot better and its good to see that you can take what people say and apply it.
ReplyDeleteYour pitch was very informative and both the sound quality and visual quality were great. However, I know public speaking and writing are very different, but in terms of writing, I feel like there was a lot of fluff in your second elevator pitch. I compared it to writing because I feel like most people know the reference in that context. I just feel like you threw in a lot of unnecessary words in your pitch that simply made it longer, rather than stronger. Overall, your pitch is strong, but maybe in the future try to condense what you're trying to say. Good luck and great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Connor,
ReplyDeleteThat was a very informative pitch. However, it is supposed to be an elevator pitch, presented in 60 seconds, as if you met a stranger on an elevator and you were giving them the meat of what your venture represents. It sounded more like an infomercial with a lot of unnecessary wording. Remember:
Tell the person why what you have to say may be important to them, identify your goal, explain what you do.
My pitch is by no means perfect, but maybe it will help to here a few other pitches from classmates. Here's mine http://cogentshift.blogspot.com/2016/07/elevator-pitch-2.html